This is Mrs. Tom Turkey who is also a rescue turkey living at Pam's farm in Foster, RI. She, and I would like, if we may, to wish you all a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving day.

Mine was spent with family and friends and way too much food. I am full and sleepy and in my pajamas at home now just about ready to head off to my bedroom to do a bit of reading before teetering off the edge into my food induced coma.

Before I go though, I do want to say that I am grateful for my family, my friends, my health and my life which is abundant in good things.

Thank you for reading, and for always supporting and listening. Blessings to you all this Thanksgiving and always.

and happiest Thanksgiving to all of you! <3

and I got an A-! I cannot believe it. I was absolutely sure of, and was prepared for the "blow" of a B- or even a C. Towards the end of this class I had just really had it, and I know my work got a little sloppy. And she must be in a fabulous mood or something, because I KNOW I screwed up an entire portion of my individual project...but I am not going to fight. I will take the A- and run.

Its Tuesday night, and that means that I only work for TWO hours tomorrow morning so that is also awesome. I am having lunch with Andrew. I do have class tomorrow night, but its only art class and I think she will probably want to leave early so I hope to be home before 9:00!

Thursday is turkey day and man am I ready for some turkey with all the fixings! I have been craving it for awhile now...and my favorite part...turkey sandwhiches afterward! I will actually probably end up going and buying a small turkey for Chris and I because I know the leftovers will go fast between his parents, friends coming to dinner, and us.

Serena and I went for sushi lunch at Kon's today. Miso soup, salad, and 2 rolls! Over lunch we talked about a lot of stuff and it made me so extraordinarily happy to know that I have awesome friends! We are also planning and schemeing a trip to NYC in the New Year...MOMA to be exact. We want to see the Tim Burton exhibit. Hoping to stay overnight so we have a full two days. It would be Serena, Chris and myself going...and I think we'll have a blast.

I am organizing and uploading some old images to flickr right now, so I am going to finish that up and go to bed. Have to be well rested for my big two hours of work! Ha!

Oh, and PS...I updated/edited my list of links over there on the right side of the page. You should check 'em out.

So, I have been MIA for a few days. Nothing exciting was really going on. I was just buried under a mountain of homework. I am happy to say that I am now done with HTML I & II, having submitted my final project just hours ago. I still have art stuff to do for Wednesday night, but I will get that out of the way tomorrow since its only really minor stuff.

You are probably wondering why there is a picture of a turkey over there. Saturday I took a ride with Serena to the Sweet Binks Rabbit Rescue, which is located in Foster and is also a farm full of a kazillion rescue animals. This guy is a rescue turkey (and no, he won't be eaten on Thursday). He was kinda mean but I snapped his picture anyway because I was admiring his puffed out feathers. Same deal as always...if you click on the picture it will take you to my Flickr page where you can see some of what I saw on the farm that day. It was awesome to get outside, to see my favorite rooster Rodney, and to spend time with Serena.

Friday night we ventured into Providence to see Anti-christ...which is an IFC film. Its kind of hard to actually describe the film, but it was VERY visceral, VERY disturbing, and VERY violent at the end. Not sure if I would recommend it to others, and allthough Serena, Chris and I thought it was a good film we all were pretty WTF afterward.

I'm super glad today is over. I'm looking forward to the Thanksgiving holiday. Chris and I will be spending the day with his parents. I have a light homework weekend, which is uber nice, so I am planning on working on my holiday cards and going to my first art journal meetup on Saturday. I am a little nervous, but also excited!

Next Monday is my first Intro to Word Processing class and also marks the final five weeks of the semester. Can you hear me yell HURRAY? Because I am, people. I am so done with this semester. SO done. But, hell...I can at least say that I did it. I worked my 21 hours a week and I got through another semester at school. Hopefully, I am a bit more seasoned once it is time to go back in January.

Well, I am pretty beat. I think its time to hit the hay. Ta ta, LJ.

One year ago my caseworker handed me an application for a fellowship that would change the course of my life. It was also about a year ago that I made the decision to be well, and began the difficult journey back from the ledge I had been precariously perched on for many many years.

Its almost hard to believe that it has been a year. It has not always been easy, and certainly not always fun...but I am glad I am here, able to look back and say (and know) that I did it. I am grateful to the following people/entities who helped me get my life back:

The Kent Center (Michael, Julie and Dr. Whalen) who worked with me for many years and helped me in immeasureable ways.

My husband, Chris who always believes in me and loves me no matter what.

My Mom who taught me and continues to teach me unconditional love and acceptance.

The Governor's Commission on Disabilities for giving me a wonderful opportunity that allowed me to see what I was capable of in a safe environment and gave me back some self confidence.

Tim Flynn who believed in me enough to ask me to be on the Legislative Committee.

My family who allthough may not understand me, loves me none-the-less.

My wonderfully loyal friends: Tanya, Greta, Zeke, Serena, Jen, Marty and Andrew.

My wonderful LJ friends (that would be YOU!) for reading and supporting and sticking with me on the bumpy ride.

I am one grateful woman. Grateful for wellness, for my personal abundance, and for the opportunities to continue towards my goals and dreams.

*"There are darknesses in life, and there are lights; you are one of the lights."

-Dracula
Bram Stoker

It had been an extraordinary intense few weeks at school. I am not sure why, but I am feeling weary at this stage in the game. My HTML II class ends next Monday so I have a final project due for that, I have to finish up a brochure I am doing for a graphic arts project (due Wednesday), and I have to finish my psych notes for Tuesday. The biggest time eating homework is HTML. Its tedious and you have to go slow and double check your work a lot because its easy to mess up code. At least if you are me it's easy. The class has been a little challenging, especially the second session but I am still pulling in grades that I am happy with. Mostly 90's and 95's. Still, I'll be happy to get it done, and get on with the last session which is word processing. I never thought I'd say that I am anxious to do a word proccessing class, but I guess to me it signals the final five weeks of the semester and I doubt its as labor intensive as HTML.

In other news, I have decided to stay at my job. I like the paycheck, and am able to stay detatched enough to see it as such. I do enjoy the actual job and I don't need to be friends with the people I work with. The office manager did invite me out to see her husband's band again. Since I have not been able to the last two times, I said I would go. Meh. I am at least making an effort. Also have decide to go to the Holiday party that the board of directors throws for us. Its a luncheon, and I figured its a good time to really meet the board since many of them work elsewhere in the nonprofit sector, and I may also want to hang around vocationally in the nonprofit sector. Meh to this as well.

I am anxiously looking forward to any and all breaks I am getting the rest of the year. I have next Thursday and Friday off and I am applying some of my holiday hours to Wednesday so I only have to work 2 hours. Next week will be short and sweet. I have from Dec. 23rd to January 4th off from work...and once the semester ends (for me on Dec. 22), I dont go back until January 25th. Suh-weet! I need the break from all the craziness for a little bit. And to take a deep breath before diving into a very busy spring semester.

Ack! Time is ticking away. I have to get my crap together and get out the door for work. Happy Thursday, folks!

It's really important. I think as Americans we owe it to ourselves to watch this. It doesn't matter to me what side of the health care debate you are on...health care pertains to us all. It doesn't matter if you are a fan of Mr. Olbermann or not...he has some things to say, and I believe he says them well; as an outraged American citizen. We should all be outraged at what our health care system has become. I urge you to watch this.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#33217642

Thanks.

I have posted this before, but thought it appropriate to post again.....its always good to remind myself:





To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;
It means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off...
It's the realization that I can't control another...
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

I guess it has changed over the years...experience has taught me many hard, but good lessons on the romantic front. I used to unconciously (or may be it was even conciously) choose relationships with very unhealthy people, because I had what my various therapists refer to as a "savior complex". I believed that I could change people, or rather, save them from themselves. After many failed attempts I finally got it through my thick skull that if someone is hell bent on self destruction by whatever their particular means is, I could do absolutely nothing to stop them. Even loving them was not enough.

So, I guess I don't think we can teach ourselves to desire partners who are better for us, but that we naturally elvolve to be attracted to people who are perhaps healthier for us as we ourselves grow to be healthier. And "perfect" romantic partner? I think that is the stuff of fairy tales, and does not hold up in reality. No one is perfect. Not me, not you, not my husband, or your girlfriend/boyfriend/domestic partner/wife, etc. I think its this concept of "perfection" which gets us in hot water more often than not.

And, by the way...I believe this pertains not only to romantic relationships, but also to friendships.

Yes, its finally here! In about 3 hours, Chris and I are leaving to head to the show in MA. I am super excited...it seemed like tonight would never ever get here, but here it is.

Thank you to my super fabulous husband who bought me these tickets (awesome seats, btw) to let me know how proud he was of me for doing school and work together, which was something I had not attempted to do in a very long time. He has consistently believed in me and been one of my biggest supports over the past years journey into wellness. I could not have done it without you, babe! I love you!!!!

Let's see...emotional support...yeah, I do have an awesome network of support. My faith, my husband, my mom, my in-laws, my friends, my therapist, my journal, my art...all of it helps when I am in need of emotional support. I am fortunate and grateful for this abundance in my life.

xo

I have been awake since early this morning. At one point I considered going back to sleep, but changed my mind and decided to try to stay up and get some shit done. I did dishes, swept up the kitchen, wiped down and swept the bathroom, changed the sheets and dusted the bedroom, took a shower, took dinner out to defrost and took a short trip out to get some breakfast food. I have homeowrk to do and want to get a good portion of it finished today, and I have several little craft projects I'd like to acomplish and get out of the way...or at least off my art table. Also, grocery shopping will happen after I meet with Serena tonight. So, yeah, I am feeling kind of ambitious. But its all good.

It seems that we will be getting some of the rainy weather from the hurricane this weekend, so I am scrapping my plans to go see trees. I am betting that by the time the sun rejoins us there won't be many leaves left to see on the trees. There are so few now. And its super windy...I keep looking for the house flying through the air threatening to land on me!

OK, I need to get on with my agenda. Hoping all y'all have a wonderful Friday!!! TGIF!

Yep, I do. At 2pm sharp I just about skipped out of work to begin my long weekend. Awesome feeling, that.

So....I got a few grades back from HTML: two 95% and a 90%. I stil owe her one case study and this weeks tutorial and case study but I am planning on getting it all completed and submitted this weekend. Come to think of it, I am planning a lot of things for this weekend. Homework is one, creative stuff is another, some domestic stuff, the Ani concert (Yay! Its finally here!), and whatnot. I feel energetic and back to my old self again. Hurrah!

I figured out my holiday time from work AT work today...for The giving of the thanks day, as well as the December holidays. Now I am just waiting for the exec. director to approve them and then it will be all set! Also, I drove to my in-laws house and spent some time talking to my father in law. See, my generous Mom is giving me her car...so I am trying to figure out stuff about what I need to do to get rid of the truck and my FIL is super smart about all that stuff, so he's helping me get my ideas together. Then we just visited for awhile, which was awesome, because I haven't really spent time with him lately. And I do adore my in laws. They rock! Also, I spent some time making some phone calls to my state case worker about my book reimbursement which I still have not recieved (not so cool) and the benefits co-ordinator reguarding my ticket back to work trial month stuff. So, its been a pretty productive day so far...and its not over. Not sure what is next on my agenda, but I'd like to make good use of my time this weekend since I have so much I'd like to get done. May be I'll work on the domestic stuff tonight.

You know, for a few days after I sent my letter I felt a little unsure of myself...second guessed my decision and all that. It was finally recieving her reply...more of just a confirmation that she really did recieve it than what she said (what she said kinda really just rolled off my back), that made me feel better. I feel lighter than I have in so long. Its fabulous!

Tomorrow night I am going to see my friend Serena to discuss one of my new creative ideas with her. I need her valuable input and expertise. I love that I have a wonderful, cool, and creative friend near me now. Its been awfully good for my own creativity and creative thought process. She is also a super fabulous friend. By the by...she makes crazy, wonderful jewelry. Check her out on Etsy!!!! She's really talented, and a great gal, too!

OK, gotta run. Love ya lots.
xoxoxoxoxo

OMG! I am so inspired today! The creative ideas are just whipping around in my head! I don't know where my creativity was hiding, but it seems to be back in full force. Now...to find time to execute things I want to do and learn to do.

Gotta start writing all my ideas down. I lose a lot of them if I don't.

I am feeling better despite the email from the recently divorced friend. It wasn't that bad, I actually was expecting worse. She said some things that I think anyone who has hurt feelings would say, so I am not really taking them to heart and letting them make me feel bad about my decision. I did not reply, and have no intentions of replying. It is done, and that is good. I can move on now. And so, I shall.

I worked my 6 hours today, and got home about a half hour ago. No school tonight makes me super duper happy! I am going to take some time to do some general house keeping of my desk and art area I think, since both are way out of control. I also want to watch some art journal videos on youtube.

Well, I'm gonna go and try to get started. Hope you all are having a wonderful day.

I declare this writers block too damn hard. Hopefully, I live a long time, and, if I do I'll be damn thankful that I do not have to limit myself to one CD for the rest of time.